The Diary of a Crazed Apprentice
by Fire and Ice equals Slush
Summary: Slade learns the down side of having a hyperactive, crazy fanfiction writer named AgentM as an apprentice the hard way.
1. Do the Kwazi Dance

Welcome, fanfiction readers all… to the "Diary of a Crazed Apprentice!" My home girl, AgentM, is going to see what it's like being Slade's pawn. You may remember her from "Don't Touch My Popcorn" or "The Diary of a HIVE Infiltrator." If you haven't read these… than hurry up and read them! Of course, after you R&R this fic.

Yeah, I don't own Teen Titans. World feel my pain.

**Chapter 1 Do the Kwazi Dance!**

AgentM: Testing 1-2-3 Testing (blech) I'm getting tired of this…

(is currently in a dark alley typing on lab top)

AgentM: Hm? (turns around) Who's there? Show yourself!

Slade: I will… (comes out through the darkness) …for I have nothing to hide.

AgentM: Except your giant nose!

Slade: …! (grasps mask as if to make sure it's on) That's not very nice! You need someone to teach you manners…

AgentM: So, what do you want? I'm kind of busy!

Slade: I know all about you, AgentM…

AgentM: Well, apparently everything except my real name… HOW exactly do you know me?

Slade: I first located you on the fanfiction website. I learned all about how you torture people for your own pleasure. I even R&R'd some of your stories…

AgentM: …you're "Masked KWAZI DancingBear?"

Slade: In the flesh…

AgentM: …

Slade: If my sources stand true, you are very powerful…

AgentM: (puts hands up) Hey, don't wanna argue with the sources…!

Slade: So, what'll it be? Want to be my apprentice?

AgentM: hmmmmm….

Slade: hm?

AgentM: hmmmm…

Slade: …

AgentM: Do you offer dental?

Slade: What kind of question is that?

AgentM: Tell, you what. I'll be your apprentice if you… DANCE FOR ME!

Slade: What!

AgentM: DANCE, KWAZI, DANCE LIKE A BUTTERFLY!

Slade: I shall not.

AgentM: (lifts lab top onto lap and starts typing) "…and then Kwazi Bear realized he must honor the khaki coated OC and obey her command. He floated upon the cement with the grace and elegance of a goose. This act pleased the khaki coated OC greatly…"

Slade: (suddenly dances ballet against his will) What the-!

……………………….

Slade: I feel so… foolish…

AgentM: There, there. No one saw you. And only thirty will once I finish downloading this video recording.

Slade: I did the dance, now be my apprentice!

AgentM: Well, I guess since you did dance for me…

Slade: I am sure you will find it most… delightful…

AgentM: Ok! I'll take the job! (packs up lab top) Let's go!

Both: (walk off towards the setting sun)

……………………………….

R&R


	2. Slade, Unpaid, and Lemonade

I thank all the kind reviewers of the first chapter. Some of which followed from "HIVE Infiltrator" so that makes me very pleased…

Just so you know, I often engage in author's response on these notes in the top of the update. So if you have a question or suggestion, I'll answer you right here:

Canaarie: Sure, I'll read your fic. If you get a address I will. Oh yeah, and an OC is… Well, sometimes when authors get bored and depressed over the fact that they can't just jump into cool shows like Teen Titans they make OC's which kinda represent them since you're not allowed to put yourself into the fic. I hope that answers your question.

TwilightSoulTaker: I remember you… I'm your new minion? Red Balloons?

**Chapter 2 Slade, Unpaid, and Lemonade!**

AgentM: Whoa… (is currently staring at giant hideout) …nice place you got here, Kwazi!

Slade: Oh, I'm sure you'll find out it's not so "nice" in the end.

AgentM: Does it have cable?

Slade: uh, yes?

AgentM: (smiles) Then I'll do juuuuust fine…!

Slade: As you probably well know, I have had trouble with apprentices before. Both were… too soft. I died and then the great Trigon the Terrible made me swear to serve him. When he went back on his promise, I had to (he shivers) _help_ those Titans… Well, Trigon was slain and now I'm finishing up what I started years ago…

AgentM: So, you just never learned your lesson, huh?

Slade: I suppose not… (types on keypad to unlock doors) Here we are…

ReereerBOOOM BOOM crash THUDDD! Bonkaaay! (sounds of big giant door thingy opening)

AgentM: (cringes) That's one loud big giant door thingy… (follows Slade in)

…………………………..

Slade: Wintergreen? WINTERGREEN!

Green: Yes, Master Slade?

Slade: Wintergreen, this is Miss M. She is our new guest.

AgentM: Hi!

Slade: AgentM, this is Wintergreen. He is my but-

AgentM: Achoo!

Slade: Bless you. Now this is Wintergreen, my loyal but-

AgentM: Achooo! (snickers)

Slade: Really, now. Are you coming down with something, dear? Anyway, he is my great but-

AgentM: Ach-oo! Achoo!

Slade: I beg your pardon?

AgentM: (smiles) No, I'm okay! What is he again?

Slade: He is my but-

Green: I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT, IN ANY FORM, YOUR BUTTOX!

Slade: (is taken aback) No! No! That's not what I meant, I-!

AgentM: How vulgar… right Wintergreen?

Green: Certainly right, Miss M!

Slade: rrrrrr…. (gets really angry but calms down) sigh… I apologize, Wintergreen. I did not mean to offend you. I merely meant to say that you were my loyal butler.

Green: Very well, Master Slade. (extends hand to AgentM) My name is Wintergreen. Mint E. Wintergreen.

AgentM: (shakes hand) and I am M. Agent M.

Slade: Offer her a drink, Wintergreen!

Green: Alright already, Master Slade! Would you care for a drink, Miss M?

AgentM: Lemonade! With lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of sugar!

Green: Pure cane sugar with a tiny dash of lemon and water. I'll get right on it. (leaves)

AgentM: I think he's pretty cool! Don't you, Kwazi?

Slade: Stop calling me that! Anyway, now you need to swear to me that you will serve me and obey my every command!

AgentM: I can't swear! This fic's rated K, you know!

Slade: AgentM!

AgentM: Alright! Alright! Alright! (clears throat) "I, AgentM, of being obsessed mind, body, and spirit, hereby swear to serve Kwazi the Masked Dancing Bear. I will serve him from this day forward, except on Saturdays when new Teen Titans episodes are on. I will obey his every command and fight along his side forever. Not that he ever does any fighting, but that isn't part of the agreement…"

Slade: And you will call me Slade not Kwazi!

AgentM: Sure, Kwazi!

Slade: (groans) This is going to be a loooooong fic….


	3. Suit Up

Oh my Azar… that's a lot of reviews. I thank thee.

**TwilightSoulTaker**: Yum. Reviewers make the best cookies!

**RavenVsDestiny**: Hey, aren't you Happy Sun's cousin or something like that...? Thanks for the boat-load of reviews! And to reply to your comment on "HIVE Infiltrator,"

"…I script, therefore I am."

Okay, so that didn't make much sense, but nobody on fanfiction cares if you're writing script format. A lot of us writers write like this because it is fun. Rules are meant to be broken, eh?

**kkori**: It's all in the sugar. And, WHEN ARE YOU UPDATING YOUR STORIES? …please?

**Mystery Character Contest: See Bottom of Fic!**

**Chapter 3 Suit up**

Slade: Apprentice! Appreeeeeentice! (walks down hallway) APPRENTICE! (hears noises in kitchen) Apprentice?

Green: (in kitchen talking with AgentM) …and then, she was like, "how could you lie to me?" And then Master Slade was like, "I would have told you I was Slade sooner, honey, but you were always so difficult!" And then she was like, "Nuh-uh!" And then he was like, "Uh-huh!" And then she went, "BAM! BAM!" shot his eye out. And then he was like, "GUGH! My eye!" And then she was like, "Don't you ever risk our son's life again, boy!" And then he was like, "But, baby! My eye!" And then she was like, "we are soooo totally through!" And that's when he got all cranky…

AgentM: (sips the Vanilla Coke) Soooo… he's been a loser for like… ever!

Green: Yep! That about sums it up!

Slade: …what are you two talking about…?

Green&AgentM: (Vanilla Coke spurt)

Green: N-Nothing, Master Slade! Miss M and I were just, uh, having a little chat, that's all!

AgentM: R-Right! A little chat, that's all!

Slade: AgentM needs to be fitted for her apprentice uniform, right now!

AgentM: I'll be right down, just give me a minute!

Slade: grrrr (stalks off)

AgentM: (turns back towards Wintergreen) So, then what happened?

Green: (returns to story) Then, Master Slade was like, "Fine! I don't need you anymore!" And then she was like, left. And then he was like, "Wintergreen! Give me taco, NOW!" And then I was like, "Yes Master Slade." And then, he was like, "I need an apprentice!" And then that Robin kid came along and he was like, "I'm not going to be your apprentice!" and beat my master up. And then Master Slade was like, "You fired!" …but then, he just got a new one, and she was like-!

AgentM: No, no, I already know this part of the story. Thanks for the pop, now I got to go downstairs and obey the biggest loser in the world!

Green: That's the spirit, Miss M!

Both: (take their leave)

……………………………………

Slade: Here's your uniform.

AgentM: This… this is… This is sick, man!

Slade: What!

AgentM: This! This skimpy metal body armor! I can't wear this! I'll catch a cold! I'll rust in the rain! Boys will stare at me if I so much as shop for groceries! I'll be forced to punch their lights out!

Slade: I have that all figured out already! (brings out something) Ta da! You'll wrap yourself with toilet paper!

AgentM: …

Slade: …

AgentM: …are you enjoying this?

Slade: …uh, uh, uh…

AgentM: I'm SO not wearing this! I'll make my own metal armor!

………………………..

(Minutes later)

AgentM: Ta da!

Slade: …

AgentM: These titanium bunny slippers are made to be indestructible and enhance my kicking and running abilities! My gigantic hat is also made of strong metal that will plug information into my head! My trench coat and colored hair are already trend-setting, gadget filled materials! …And I updated my lab top! (shows lab top)

Slade: … … …

AgentM: Don't look at me. I'm but a simple deranged writer with principles.

Slade: …

……………………….

(remember…)

Slade: If you recall, Terra became my apprentice and I gave her better control of her powers!

AgentM: Hey! That's not fair! Why don't I get control? Gimme my control, Kwazi! Waaah!

Slade: Fine, fine, here!

AgentM: What's this?

Slade: It's Splenda. You depend way too much on sugar as the source of your powers.

AgentM: So… that's just it? Splenda! That's how you solve your apprentice's problems?

……………………….

R&R

**Mystery Character Contest:**

Do you know the lady that Wintergreen was talking to AgentM about? The one who shot Slade's eye out? If you do, tell me in your review and you'll win Donuts! That's not all, for every reviewer who knows who she is I will tell you one thing about myself, but nothing personal. If you don't know who she is, I recommend researching then reviewing. Trust me, there are a lot of Teen Titans sites that tell you. You have till next week (or maybe the following week if I'm busy).


	4. Let's all play with puppets!

WowWowWowWow-ness

So many people got it! I'm so proud of you guys!

**Delirium24**, **Byn**, and **TeenTitansforever** got it, but I give props to **Xerxes93** for trying.

Here are the donuts! (hands out assorted donuts): Sprinkled, Powdered, Chocolate, Jelly-filled, Glazed (upon Byn's request).

Anyway, the 4 facts about myself are below the fic.

So, the girl in the previous chapter was **Adeline "Addie" Kane Wilson**, Slade's first wife. They had 2 sons, Grant and Joseph (aka Jericho, he's showing up this season). Slade was doing evil things behind his family's back (bad, bad Slade!). When, confronting a terrorist, Slade had to tell his family, but the terrorist cut Joseph's throat making him mute. Then… she shot his eye out. Poor Slade…

**Chapter 4 Let's all play with puppets!**

Slade: Now, you are all set. Your oath has been said, your… uniform is on. Now it is time to think of an evil plot! (runs into room and slams door)

AgentM: …?

Wintergreen: Don't worry about him. He locks himself in there for a month doing who knows what and surviving on who knows what!

AgentM: Ok…

Green: Let's play Monopoly! …Villain's edition…

AgentM: Alright! I wanna be the "The Source!"

Green: Aw, how come you always get to be "The Source?"

AgentM: Because it's a tiny metal slab of tofu! That's why!

Green: Fine, I'll be the tiny metal Slade. (holds up piece and mimics voice) … "Hi! I'm Slade! I'm such a loser freak! A jobless, dateless loser freak!"

AgentM: (snickers, knocks over Slade with finger) Ooops! My bad, Kwazi! It appears I've knocked you over.

Green: (mimicks) "Help! I have fallen and I can't get up!"

AgentM: Here let me help you! (grabs metal Cinderblock figurine and places it on top of Slade figurine) Sorry, Slade! It seems Cinderblock mistook your big head for a bench!

Green: (mimicks) "Gah! Cinderblock is sitting on my head! Wintergreen! Get me out of here now!"

AgentM: (looks around) There's no figurines of you… or me…

Green: Let's make them!

AgentM: Yay!

…………………………..

(in the Puppet King's Lair)

AgentM: You might be thinking, "Why are we in the Puppet King's lair?"

Green: Well, we are here because the loser freak forgot to buy a new glue gun!

AgentM: So, we're just going to get the Puppet King to make them for us!

Puppet King: Who dares enter the lair of the Puppet King…?

AgentM: I'm AgentM, Slade's new apprentice/fanfiction writer/OC/secret agent/titan kidnapper! He's Wintergreen, Slade's butler/minimum wage! Nice to meetcha!

Puppet King: You are not welcome in the lair of the Puppet King… The Puppet King wants you out…

AgentM: Yeah well the AgentM wants to stay. The AgentM doesn't take orders from lumber. (knocks on Puppet King's head)

Green: We just want to have tiny metal figurines of us!

AgentM: Or better yet! Make them puppets! Puppets are more fun than Monopoly anyway…

Puppet King: No one commands the Puppet King…

AgentM: whips out lab top. "… and then, Pinochio, out of great respect towards the awesomeness of AgentM, decided to agree to her desire for a figurine of herself..."

Puppet King: I will get to work, master… (walks off)

Green: Whoa, more dangerous than my master…

AgentM: Maybe I should get my own line of apprentices, myself. Then, my apprentices could have their own apprentices, and so on and so forth…

…………………………………

AgentM: Cool! (holds up puppet AgentM) I've never seen such a whimsical device!

Green: Yeah, and yet what does "whimsical" mean?

AgentM: (whips out dictionary) It means… odd but fantastic… or… queer; strange; freakish…

Green: Would Starfire say something like that?

AgentM: I know! Let's make fun of Kwazi using BIG words so he doesn't understand us!

Green: Yay!

………………………………….

puppetAgentM: Kwazi is so whimsical, bizarre, idiosyncratic, incongruous, maggoty…

puppetGreen: He is also bovine, ignoramus, foul, stupid…

AgentM&Green: HAHAHAHA!

Slade: (steps out of room) I'm finished!

AgentM&Green: (points at Slade and laughs at him) HAHAHAHA!

Slade: AgentM, it is rude to point at someone and laugh your head off at them out loud…

Green: (back to AgentM) He does have a big head!

Both: HAHAHAHA!  
Slade: I am so sad… boo hoo…

………………………………….

Facts about me:

Let's see… I love mixing Canned Ravioli with Ramen (plain, of course). Hey, don't knock it till you try it!

I am OBSESSED with sharks. Luv 'em! Everyone has pictures of their boyfriends on their binders. My friends laughed when I brought a picture of a Great White.

Things I hate: Girls acting friendly but don't really mean it. Boys who think they're funny but aren't at all. Lastly, I thought there wasn't a single organized, neat-handwriting smart girl I couldn't be friends with… oh Azar, was I wrong!

My favorite partying holiday: HALLOWEEN! Yeah! I start thinking of my costume over summer break. I'm going as a Dryad, or a wood nymph.


	5. Slade in Pain

Whew… I'm beat! Halloween is… the most… best holiday ever! Sorry this chappie took too long, this is my first time uploading a chapter by myself… hehe, PointDobble always did it for me…

**Byn**: Just don't copy my idea too much or I would be a very… angry… monkey.

**RavenvsDestiny**: Yeah, Slade was married… twice! Anyway, I think that Jericho (Slade's Son)'s coming up in Season 5 on Toonami. That is, for America at least. If you saw Homecoming part 2, you can catch a tiny glimpse of him on the Brain's computer screens at the end of the episode. I'm just assuming, so don't take my word for it. As for if Splenda works or not, you'll just have to find out for yourself.

**TwighlightSoulTaker**: Sorry, the link didn't work again. Somehow, web addresses don't work on reviews.

**HappySun**: Bad, bad donut-thief! Jk, I have surplus!

**bunnyaven**: You're a little late, but here (hands donut). Anyway, it's Addie Kane.

**Chapter 5 Slade in Pain**

AgentM: So what's up, Kwazi?

Slade: I told you to stop calling me that, anyway I just thought of a great plan!

AgentM: …we're going to destroy the Teen Titans?

Slade: Wow! How did you know?

AgentM: lucky guess…

Slade: Yes! But there is an interesting twist to it!

AgentM: You will be using me this time…

Slade: Exactly! I love an apprentice who catches on quickly! Now, shall we begin?

AgentM: No! Not now! I can't!

Slade: Why not?

AgentM: Because Teen Titans is on!

Slade: Those titans have a show?

AgentM: Yeah, and I can't leave until I watch it!

Slade: Is it a new episode?

AgentM: No, it's a rerun.

Slade: Then why do you need to watch it!

AgentM: Well, I don't know… Anyway, I've seen every episode so the fact that it's a rerun doesn't count!

Slade: Fine, I can wait for 30 min…

AgentM: It's a marathon!

Slade: WHAT!

AgentM: Nah, I'm just playing. Teen Titans hardly ever has a marathon…

Slade: Fine, I'll just wait then!

………………………

Slade: Are you done yet?

AgentM: No! This is the part where you kick the poor, wounded Terra!

Slade: I'm in this show too?

AgentM: Yeah! See?

(in show)

Terra: You can't control me anymore! (punches Slade off rock)

Slade: (burns in the lava) OMG! Nuuuu! Paaaain!

Terra: (points and laughs at burning Slade) HAHAHAHA!

Slade: I'm burning! Ow! Ow! Ow!

(back to Slade's living room)

Slade: Ouch! That was something I didn't want to relive…

AgentM: (points and laughs at burning Slade on TV) HAHAHAHA! Kwazi's such a loser!

Slade: I'm right here you know…

AgentM: (still laughing) HAHAHAHAHA!

Green: (runs into the room) Aw great! Did I miss it?

AgentM: Sorry, Wintergreen. You just missed Kwazi's death.

Green: Awwww…

AgentM: No wait! You can laugh at his mask slowly sinking in lava right there!

Green: (points and laughs at burning mask) HAHAHAHAHA!

Slade: Wait! How could I be in the show when I never saw any cameras going around in those times of my life!  
……………….

Slade: Ok! This fic has gone on long enough and all we got done was you laughing at me!

AgentM: Ok! Ok! Let's GO!

Slade: Finally… (walks out the door with AgentM)

AgentM: (swings car keys around finger) I'm driving!

Slade: You're not driving, I'm driving!

AgentM: No way! I'm doing the most work in this plan, so I get to drive!

Slade: Sheesh! What's the matter with you? I never get any problems like this with my previous apprentices!

AgentM: Yeah, well, too bad, Kwazi…!

Slade&AgentM: (fight for the car keys while scratching and destroying the car in the process)

Wintergreen: STOP IT ALREADY!

Slade&AgentM: (stop and freeze)

Wintergreen: Look! I'm an old man! I've got a headache and back pains from you two arguing! If you are going to yell so much about something then maybe I should drive!

Slade&AgentM: What! No way!

Wintergreen: (yells and shakes mountains) I'M DRIVING!

Slade&AgentM: …okay…

……………………….

R&R

Oh yeah, one more thing about me for, bunnyraven:

1. I know the dude who voice-acted Prof. Chang in the episode "X." How I know him will reveal too much about me.


	6. Bunny

Happy Veteran's day y'all!

Hooray! Just a few more reviews and I beat the "Diary of a HIVE infiltraitor!" I just love breaking records!

**RavenVsDestiny**: Thanks! He also plays the emperor's councilman in Mulan.

**Happy Sun**: If I were to rewrite that scene, it would be what I said.

**TwilightSoulTaker**: Are you calling me stupid? When you type an address in a review, it doesn't show up! If you want it to, insert spaces randomly in between the words!

**Chapter 6: Bunny**

AgentM: Are we there yet?

Slade: FOR THE LAST, TRIGON-FORSAKEN TIME! NOOOO!

AgentM: …phooey…

(long car ride)

Slade: …

AgentM: …

Slade: …

AgentM: … PUNCH BUGGY! (socks Slade)

Slade: Oof!

Wintergreen: What's going on back there?

Slade: She just punched me!

AgentM: Well, he started it…

Wintergreen: You both keep quiet back there!

AgentM: Okay! Okay!

(long car ride)

Wintergreen: Let's sing songs on the radio!

AgentM&Slade: NOOOOOO!

Wintergreen: (too late; turns on radio and starts singing) HeeeRE I aM, oNCe agaaaaain! I'm tooooorn inTo PIECES!

AgentM&Slade: Omigod! Nuuuu! Paaaain!

……………………….

Slade: FINALLY! We're here!

AgentM: Where is here?

Slade: We're at a random site of town which is conveniently emptied out of people and large enough for a good battle scene.

AgentM: Ok! Now what?

Slade: Now we call the Titans! Here wait, I've got them on speed-dial… (holds up cell-phone).

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

Robin: Hello?

Slade: Why, hello, Robin. I'm calling to-

Robin: I'm sorry! We're not interested in any magazines, bye! (hangs up)

Slade: …!

AgentM: …?

Slade: Hold on! Hold on! I'll call again!

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

Starfire: X'Hal! You have reached the "telly-fone" of Titans Tower!

Slade: Oh, hello, Starfire. Can I please speak with Robin?

Starfire: I am very, very sorry. He is not at this moment available, could I get a message?

Slade: What? He was just there like five seconds ago!

Starfire: Well, he is not here right now, he has gone-

Robin: (in background) Starfire! Who is it? Are you flirting with that magazine seller again!

Starfire: (calls out) No, I am not, Robin! (back to phone) …listen, David. This really isn't a good time…

Slade: This is Slade, not "David!"

Starfire: Slade? Slade-Who?

Slade: How many Slades could you possibly know?

Starfire: I'm sorry! Is it you, Slade HotGuy? I told you already, I'm up for next Saturday…

Slade: No! This is not Slade… HotGuy!

Starfire: Then, who is it?

Slade: It's Slade… Slade…

AgentM: (much anticipated; leans closer to Slade)

Slade: Slade… Slade… (groans and mutters into phone) …Wilson…

AgentM: (lol) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Starfire: …Robin… it's for you…

Robin: Hello? Slade?

Slade: Hello, Robin. It is such a pleasure, meeting you again…

Robin: Look, what do you want Slade!

Slade: Let's keep this short and sweet! I have a new apprentice and I want you to fight with her!

Robin: …uh, okay then… (sounds of flipping pages) How's next Saturday feel like to you?

Slade: That's just perfect… Hey! Wait! You have a calendar for all your heroic battles!

Robin: We didn't before… but now that the seasons got all confusing, we do now. Plus, we have to determine a date the camera crew can show up.

Slade: C-Camera crew?

Robin: Yeah… our camera crew… you never noticed them…?

Slade: (starts cussing) Oh, bunnies! You bunny! bunny!ing camera crew! Snapping bunny! photos of our bunny! bunny! battles! Bunny!

Robin: …okaaaaay… See you then!

Slade: grrrrrr…. Very well, Robin…!

Robin: Uh, bye! (click)

AgentM: You should really watch your temper.

Slade: You should really stop tampering with my dialogue!

AgentM: (hides lab top behind back) …I don't know what you're talking about…

…………………………

Starfire: No! Not Saturday!

……………………..

R&R


	7. Dial S for Slade

**URGENT! URGENT! URGENT! URGENT! URGENT! URGENT!**

TEEN TITANS IS GOING TO BE CANCELED!

If you haven't heard from Tit/ansgo/.n/et, Cartoon Network might boot our favorite cartoon! The people in web site above aren't 100 sure why they are canceling it, but it might be CN's lack of interest in the titans (see site for details).

I'm writing a letter to Cartoon Network. Too long have I seen some of my favorite cartoons die, and I wouldn't stand it if they do the same for Teen Titans. This isn't fan fun anymore. If you are a true fan of Teen Titans, you would join us and stand against this. It doesn't matter what couple you support, BBXRae, StarXRob, RaeXRob, BBXTerra, if we don't do something about this it wouldn't matter anymore! I don't know about you, but I want to see Terra's promised revival, Slade's return, and Robin and Starfire admitting their love for each other before the end happens!

So please, do the snail mail. Tell as many people you know to write as well, even ask them to in your reviews. They said another good help would be to buy more TT merchandise (don't call me desperate, they're actually kinda cute. I bought 4 boxes of those mini figurines). Please help! I don't want it to end.

Ca/rtoon Net/work  
105/0 Techw/ood Dri/ve  
/Atlan/ta, GA 30318

(just remove the slash marks)

**URGENT! URGENT! URGENT! URGENT! URGENT! URGENT!**

What else am I supposed to say…? Oh yeah! My story!

**Chapter 7 Dial "S" for Slade**

AgentM: The "S" in Slade is for sock-puppet!

Wintergreen: (holds up Slade-sock) "Hello, I am Slade, eagerly anticipating the coming of the Titans."

AgentM&Wintergreen: (chuckle quietly from behind the car)

Slade: (looks down, over the side from the inside of the car) What are you doing…?

AgentM: (holds up puppet) This is you!

Slade: (glances once and then turns) …charming…

AgentM: Aww… What's the matter? (leans over)

Slade: (sighs with frustrated look) Well, my Great Revenge for the Teen Titans hasn't been going as I thought it would…

AgentM: (not listening; is playing with sock)

Slade: (whimpers) Great! No one cares about me! No one wants to know how I feel! …what are you doing with my sock?

AgentM: This… THIS IS YOUR SOCK!

AgentM&Wintergreen: Ewwwwwwwwww!

Slade: No, I haven't worn it yet. That's just the sock I keep in the glove compartment to use as mittens if the steering wheel is too hot.

AgentM&Wintergreen: …twitch… twitch…

……………………………..

TCar: (comes out of nowhere)

Slade: Finally! Let's get this on!

Titans: (come out of the car)

Robin: (dramatic hero lines) You are finished Slade! We will defeat you and stop you from doing whatever evil plan you want accomplished!

Cye: Yo, who is that girl?

Slade: (evil chuckle)… That, my good titans, is my apprentice…

AgentM: WASSUP! (oops! That wasn't apprentice-y, was it?)

Robin: You!

Cye: Yo!

Star: Gasp!

BB: Dude!

Rae: Oh, Azar… not you!

AgentM: …come again?

BB: Y-You're… You're that girl that trapped us in the TV!

Cye: And the one that attacked me at the HIVE!

Rae: And the one that keeps stalking me and sending me fan mail!

All: YOU'RE AGENT M!

Slade: …you… know… her…

AgentM: I suppose you are correct. (winks) I am indeed AgentM, fanfiction writer/titan kidnapper/OC/Slade's apprentice.

Robin: Yeah, well… I thought you weren't a bad guy?

AgentM: Who said anything about being a bad guy?

Rae: Then, again she's not a good guy either…

Slade: What do you mean you're not a bad guy!

AgentM: I'm neutral, darnit!

Slade: You can't be neutral!

AgentM: Why not?

Slade: Because you work for me!

Star: Yes, and he is the most "bad" of all "guys."

AgentM: You think _this_ guy is so bad? The dude uses his socks as mittens when the steering wheel is too hot!

Titans: …

Slade: …

Titans: …

Slade: …

Titans: (snicker) (snicker)

Slade: (rams his head against the car)

AgentM: Sigh… do I have to explain everything…?

"… AgentM is a fanfiction writer with unusual powers to make anything happen at her will. She does whatever she pleases or what she thinks would be fun, and does not know the meaning of the words "evil" or "good." She speaks her mind; Arrogant, perhaps; Likes to joke around; Obsessed with Raven and her tv shows; Defiant; likes to be the one pulling the strings of plans in the name of humor…"

Titans: Whoa…

AgentM: Sorry, Slade, but I can't torture the Titans in the name of evil…

Titans: Whew!

Slade: (thoroughly reads AgentM's manual) …perhaps you could do it for a friend?

AgentM: … no.

Slade: …for a favor?

AgentM: … no.

Slade: For an utterly desperate criminal mastermind that really, really, really, really needs you!

AgentM: Sorry, Kwazi…

Slade: …

AgentM: …

Slade: Perhaps you can do it for fun?

AgentM: ALRIGHT!

Titans: (bulls-eye)

…………………………………..

Please, please, please write! Tell me if you're helping us in your review.


	8. End Chapter

Sorry, guys… turns out that Teen Titans is officially dead. But that doesn't mean we can lose hope! KEEP MAILING! SAVE TEEN TITANS!

Thank you, people who have promised to help. Thank you!

And also thanks to all who reviewed. Thanks you, Canaarie, ChineseLookin'Gal, Delirium24, Raven flies with me, RavenVsDestiny, Strix moonwing, TwighlightSoulTaker, and Xerxes 93 for favoriting this story. Hmm… 8 favorited. Exactly the same as Infiltraitor… hmmmm…

**GO SEE BOTTOM OF THE CHAPTER**! … my next AgentM fic, of course…

**Chapter 8 End Chapter**

AgentM: (swallows a bag-full of Splenda) Ok! Let's begin!

Slade: Yeah! Go AgentM! Go AgentM! It's your birthday!

Titans: (spring into action)

AgentM: (spring into action)

Robin: TEEN TITANS GO!

AgentM: AGENTM GO!

Star: (prepares star-bolts towards AgentM)

AgentM: (starts typing, "… and then, Slade Hotguy drove into the scene for he was curious of the cause of the loud noises outside of town. When he stepped onto the battle field of the khaki coated OC and the Titans, he immediately calls out to his lovely alien princess, Starbursts. He announces his eternal love for the fruit-flavored chewy candy, and gently their lips brush against each other. Then, he dismembers Robin…"

SladeHG: Staaaaaaaaarfiiiiire!

Star: (turns) Hotguy? (flies down towards him)

SladeHG: (holds Star in his arms) Please don't fight anymore… I… I-I'd die if you'd get hurt…

Star: Oh… Slade Hotguy… Why do you care so much for my well-being?

SladeHG: It's because… Starfire, the moment I saw you, I knew that you were the one… Not only are you the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, but you are funny and smart and… and… Oh, Starfire if I were to imagine the most perfect woman… S-She wouldn't even come close to you! I am… toe fungus compared to your excellence, and I have nothing that could ever have me deserve someone like you! So, please… I-I'm okay if you say no… but, please… will you marry me? (whips out one freakin' huge diamond!)

Star: (jaw drops at the sight of the diamond) …so long as you will always refer to me as Princess Koriand'r the Righteous, I accept! (long, romantic kiss)

Robin: ButButButButButButButBut…

Star: (notices Robin) O-Oh yeah, Slade HotGuy, this is Robin!

Robin: Oh yeah, Slade HogGuy! Take this! (whips out one truck-load full of CHOCOLATE)

Star: (eyes grow the size of dinner-plates; Hey, you would if you saw all that chocolate)

Robin&SladeHG: (start fighting)

AgentM: Now, that I have them taken care of… "… so then, out of a magical portal through time, out popped Sarasim, the warrior woman, who came back from the past to see Cyborg…"

Cye: S-SARASIM?

Sara: (punches Cye) THIS IS FOR NEVER CALLING!

Cye: B-But Sarasim, telephones were never invented in your time, yet!

Sara: Oh… yeah… right…

AgentM: "… and then, Jinx…"

Cye: J-Jinx?

Jinx: (punches Cye) THIS IS FOR BECOMING A GOOD-GUY AGAIN! …hello, AgentM!

AgentM: Sha-la!

Jinx: I still hate you…

AgentM: "… and then, BumbleBee…"

BBee: (punches Cye) THIS IS FOR-!

Cye: FOR WHAT!

BBee: For choosing these other girls… and breaking their hearts, Sparky! You know I stand up for the women! 'Sup M!

AgentM: 'Sup Bee!

Jinx&BBee&Sara: (continue to beet up Cye)

AgentM: Now, that Cye's taken care of… (grins evily) …Raven and Beast Boy… or should I say, BBXRae?

LabTop: (ding!) You've got mail!

AgentM: Oooooh! I got mail! (reads) WOW! I just won a trip to Tamaran! See ya! (leaves)

Slade: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! bunny!

…………………………………………..

So glad the pain and agony is over! Jk! It's been fun. Now, you gotta wait on my next fic "**The Diary of a Tamaran Tourist**!" Muahaha, I'm such a villain!


End file.
